I am authorized by WHO.

The World Health Organization just raised the pandemic alert to Level 5! That is is the second-highest level! We will literally all be dead by the end of the year, it is now 100% certain.

According to Reuters, "Phase 5 is characterized by human-to-human spread of the virus into at least two countries in one region."

Phase 6 is you're dead, of the swine flu.

So far there are 132 confirmed cases of THE DEADLY SWINE FLU in 11 countries and the only cure is ice cream, according to the five-year-old who first contracted the deadly swine flu, when a spider convinced him to save a doomed pig.

If you suspect anyone you know of having been to Mexico or near a pig of any kind WHO authorizes you to shoot on sight.

By Pareene, 5:06 PM on Wed Apr 29 2009, from Gawker.com

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